THINGS THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN.
Me: So, if I organized a Sherlock flashmob, would you be in it?
Boyfriend: Depends. Where and when?
Me: I dunno. But it’d involve Vatican Cameos. It’s a phrase Sherlock uses to have John get down on the ground.
Boyfriend: Like, is that their Safe Word?
Me: ……
Me: ……
Me: ……
Me: …… /dies.